Taken at the Flood
by Broken Flavors
Summary: AU: One simple conversation over a saucer of sake can cause a snowball effect of change in young Naruto's life. The resulting mentorship by a beloved pervert at a ripe young age will change the Uzumaki forever. WiP. Nx?
1. I: Of Honorable Intentions

T a k e n a t t h e F l o o d

B **y ** B r o k e n F l a v o r s

D**isclaimer**:_All publicly recognizable characters, settings, quotes, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author, aka Me. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended__. _

W**arnings**: Alternate Universe. Mature themes (violence, death, etc). Use of potentially crude language. Possible spoilers for manga.

-x-

P r e l u d e

October was a busy month for the citizens of Konohagakure. Large shipments of imported merchandise were received and sorted, re-stocking the numerous shelves that belonged to the various stalls lining the great village's bazaar; although the stock quickly dwindled again as plans for the mid-October Festival were complete and purchases were made. Children romped around the streets, care-free, and the Shinobi completed an unprecedented amount of D-Rank missions: Gennin, Chuunin, and Jounin alike.

Everyone pulled their fair share of the work, all so that the celebration of the Great Kyuubi no Kistune's defeat to the brilliant Yondaime went off without a hitch.

When the tenth of the month came around, everyone took a day of silence. There were no classes, all establishments were closed, and the citizens donned black garbs as they gathered at dusk to light candles for the fallen. The entire village went and the Sandaime Hokage spoke highly of all who had given up their lives during that dark day. It was seven years past the tragedy, and yet that speech still gave the crowd a boost in moral and a sense of companionship that created a unification between Shinobi and commoners alike—something unprecedented in any village other than that of the Hidden Leaf.

Five days later, the celebrations began.

-x-x-x-x-x-

A r c I : D i s q u i e t u d e

-x-

_Where the vast cloudless sky was broken by one crow, I sat upon a hill - all alone - long ago; _

_But I never felt so lonely and so out of God's way, as here, where I brush elbows with a thousand every day._

–Harry Kemp

-x-

Chapter I: O f H o n o r a b l e I n t e n t i o n s

_Run._

The simple word was the only thought plaguing the mind of a young boy as he disrupted the many partiers crowding the streets one chilled October morning. Having the agility equivalent to that of a newborn giraffe, the seven year old kept stumbling into person after person as he pushed against the throng of the crowd, despite his attempts to fit through small openings without causing any disturbances. Of course, it didn't help that some bystanders intentionally threw themselves in his way while others spat at him, temporarily blinding his eyes as the saliva hit his face.

Uzumaki Naruto was, by no means, a malicious person. After all, he was just a young and innocent boy with an equally young and innocent mind. But no matter how kindhearted he was, Naruto couldn't avoid the persecution of his fellow villagers.

Normally, the citizens of Konohagakure were quite passive – by the spiky-haired blonde's standards. They would only give him angry glares and mutter the occasional 'monster' or 'demon' insult under their breath when they thought he wasn't within their hearing distance. Naruto didn't understand any of the treatment he received, but growing up by himself had taught him enough maturity to just turn the other cheek. If nothing he did would change the views of the general public, then giving into their hatred would only give them the satisfaction of proving his so-called 'demonic' nature. Instead of taking out any frustration he may have had on the citizens, the boy spent his energy through a more creative, and much more satisfying, outlet – pranks.

But, naturally, that only led to negative consequences. Such as what was happening this day.

Naruto continued to weave in and out of the crowd as he desperately tried to evade his pursuers. He was unable to duck inside any of the nearby shops, for most of the storekeepers seemed to share that inconceivable grudge towards him, and his bright, sunshine yellow hair made it practically impossible for him to blend into the crowd. So that left the young prankster with two options: to fight or to flee. The primal urge to fight was strong in the boy, but he knew that there was no way in _hell_ he could win against the group following him. So he ran.

Thankfully, due to his daily explorations of Konoha, Naruto had a phenomenal grasp of the village's intricate layout and he was soon able to locate his wanted destination. The boy quickly ducked through the curtains of a dining stall and hopped (or rather, slammed) up onto the counter.

"Teuchi-saaaaan!" the blonde shouted towards the back of the establishment with no regard to the two other customers already situated at the counter. "One Miso please! Make it an _extra_ large and I'll even pay this time!"

An older man sitting to the right of the boy just smirked, glancing down at the two fingers twisted tightly behind the child's back, before returning to the saucer of sake in front of him while the citizen next to him grimaced. He laid a few bills on the counter before hurrying out of the shop, shouldering past a group who were entering the ramen stall.

"Hey brat!" Naruto froze and his tanned face paled. Slowly, he turned to face the three pre-teens who had entered. The three were obviously still Gennin due to their unmarred forehead protectors hanging from their necks—although one _would_ find it strange that all three were covered from head to foot in a vast array of colored paints. The one in the middle, a tall boy with nondescript features and short, brown hair sneered at the seven year old. "Don't think you can just hide from us, Blondie. You're gonna be _so_ sorry for-"

"Excuse me children, but I don't appreciate you threatening my paying customers." The Shinobi looked over to a man who had emerged from the back of the shop. A scowl formed, marring his young face.

"We're sorry sir, but you don't understand! This little _mons_-"

Teuchi Ichiraku interrupted the boy again. "Now don't go throwing insults with nothing to base them upon. Everyone knows that young Naru-chan here loves a good prank or two." The chef smirked as Naruto sent him an indignant glare, before leaning in closer to the teens, a hand placed to his face mockingly. In a 'stage' whisper he continued, "Now, what you're actually doing is giving the little idiot the satisfaction of a prank successfully executed. If you _really_ want to get back at the little bugger, just ignore his attempts. Now that'll _really_ get his jumpsuit in a twist."

The blonde have an annoyed '_Humph_," as if to emphasize the man's point about being ignored. The three teens, although disgruntled about the lack of punishment for the blonde, didn't want to push their luck with the kind old man and quickly made their way out of the food stall. Teuchi slowly turned towards the seven year old and gave him a hard glare.

"Now what in the world did you do to those kyaku-yarou (1)? If word gets to their parents that I stick up for no good miscreants, my business is going to decline hastily." The chef reprimanded with no real malice in his voice as he returned to his kitchen.

"Old Man, you don't have anything to worry about. Everyone knows that _Ichiraku_'s has the best ramen. They don't care about who you serve as long as I'm not here when they want to dine on the noodlely goodness." The boy threw up his right hand, two fingers extended in a 'V for victory' sign, pairing the childish movement with an obnoxiously bright grin that stretched across the blonde's entire face.

Teuchi only snorted as he placed a large smoking bowl of Miso ramen in front of the boy. Naruto quickly snapped open his pair of chopsticks and savagely tore into his food. "You still didn't answer my question. _What _did you_ do?_"

"Ehhi pwuoor-"

"Use your manners."

The seven year old swallowed the ramen in his mouth before restarting, the large grin returning to his face. "I poured some red, orange, green, blue, and pink paint into some water balloons and rigged trap at their team's meeting place. Sure enough, they didn't even _think_ to look for a trap and just walked right through all of the triggers. The look on their face was priceless!" Naruto just laughed as he put another scoop of ramen into his mouth. The chef frowned.

"What about their Jounin Sensei? Did you get him too?"

The boy swallowed and grinned again, not at all sorry about his part in the others' plight. "Nope! That's the best part. Of course _she_ didn't miss the obvious trap— 'cause I didn't try really hard to hide the prank—so she treated it as a kinda test for her students. And they failed. _Miserably_. I mean, she was laughing_ just_ as hard as I was before she started yelling at the three about being more alert and stuff. Then she dismissed them for the day and they decided to attempt some payback. In which they failed. Again."

"Why?" Teuchi asked with a raised eyebrow as the boy erupted into a fit of giggles.

"To prove a point, of course! That lousy Riian—you know, the one in the middle—was bragging that he was the best Shinobi ever. I, _of course_, told him that when I become Gennin that I'll be waaay better than he ever was! 'Cause I'm gonna be Hokage!"

"So you poured paint on him?"

Naruto snickered. "He said I was just a dreamer. So I said that I could beat him even now. He just walked away laughing, and you _know_ how I always want to have the last laugh."

The man hid his smirk as he continued moving about the kitchen, cooking and cleaning dishes. "What about his two teammates? Weren't they just innocent bystanders?"

The blonde groaned. "Old Maaaaan, don't you listen at _all_? Why do you think I didn't go through the effort to hide the prank? I gave all _three_ of them, including Riian, enough of a chance to realize what they were walking into. They didn't pay attention, so they suffered. They'll get over it." Naruto puffed his chest out arrogantly before he continued stuffing his face full of noodles. Teuchi just shook his head before glancing up at a clock.

"Hey Naruto, can you go see Ayame home from her school for me? I'll give you two free bowls tomorrow?" The boy glanced forlornly at his empty bowl before nodding in confirmation, quickly bounding out of the food stall. After a few minutes the older man in the corner of the establishment laughed as he shook his head.

"So that's the village pariah, huh?" The white-haired man moved to the spot the lad had just vacated. "A clever little bratisn't he? With big ambitions too."

The ramen chef smiled. "I was surprised, Jiraiya-sama, that you didn't make yourself known to him. You liked Kushina's fiery spirit, so you'll get along with the boy just fine. Plus he does has Minato's determination. Honestly, he makes sure village life isn't boring for everyone. Most protests are just a front."

The pervert grinned sagely. "Ah, so you correctly guessed his lineage? We really didn't put too much effort into hiding it in retrospect. But don't worry about my relationship with the brat, it'll happen soon enough. I can't really associate with him Teuchi, it'd be almost as bad as recognizing him as a Namikaze."

"Jiraiya… I'm the closest thing to a parent that that boy has, and I'm doing a poor job of watching over him. I have a business to run and Ayame is enough of a handful as it is. The sad thing is, he can survive perfectly fine on his own. Imagine yourself at seven. How self dependent were you at that age? I'm guessing not much, if at all."

The toad sage frowned at the chef. "You know I'm hardly ever in the village. How is that better than him not knowing me at all?"

"At least he'd have the extra support," was the only reply that he got. After a few moments of silence Jiraiya paid for his sake and left _Ichiraku's_, a thoughtful expression on his face.

-x-

Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed as watched the Village Hidden in the Leaves from his office near the top of the Hokage Tower. The setting sun doused the village in various hues of red and orange while shadows of traveling Shinobi danced across the rooftops.

"Report."

The sage didn't waste any time as he emerged from the shadows. "Whispers of the 'Red Dawn' are rising. It seems that they've been increasing their recruitment rate. Rumors say that all admissions have been of S-Rank and obviously classified as a Missing-Nin. Through my resources, the only confirmed member at this time is Uchiha Itachi; although, in a somewhat related note, Orochimaru's movements are last known near the border of Ame. My correspondents in Rain Country believe that to be the base of the Akatsuki, so this situation is worth looking into on different facets. There haven't been any confirmed objectives for the group, but if the snake's on board, it's nothing to just ignore."

The Sandaime nodded thoughtfully as he packed tobacco into his pipe. "And what of the reclusive Princess?"

"Drinking and gambling, while on the run from debt collectors. The usual. I _did_ have a small chat with her and, well, I don't think she's planning on visiting your sorry ass any time soon," Jiraiya answered with a snort. "Shizune-chan seems to be flourishing under Tsunade's mentorship though, so the old bat's not a completely lost cause. You've just got to throw her a bone or two and she'll find her way home. Eventually"

"There's not much I can do to replace the past Jiraiya. I fear she's too caught up in her memories to see what's truly in front of her." Sarutobi sighed again as he relaxed into his chair, his face lined heavily. "Enough of this lost Sannin business. To what honor do I owe with the pleasure of your presence Jiraiya? You usually just leave a report."

A perverse grin crossed the man's face. "Oh, you know Sensei. I was on my way into town and saw a few inspiring… scenes for my latest book; I was in such a good mood that I thought I'd give you a chance to lay some of your senile ramblings on me. For old time's sake." Hiruzen graced the lecher with a small chuckle before returning his expression to neutrality. Now, it was Jiraiya's turn to sigh.

"I talked to Teuchi a bit today and I saw a real interesting kid. The _Gaki_ was in a bit of trouble because he pulled a prank on a couple of Gennin and the old chef had to bail him out... The topic of Minato and Kushina came up," He took a deep breath before continuing, ignoring his former teacher's sharp gaze. "It got me thinking Sarutobi-sensei. I've made a lot of excuses of why I've kept myself busy out of the village, be it concerning Konohagakure's security or just research ventures for my novel, but none of that accounts for how I've failed Minato. I'm the kid's only family and he doesn't even know it. Seriously old man! A seven year old living by himself with no one to look after him? It's nonsense."

"Are you saying that you're going to quit maintaining you spy network to look over young Uzumaki?"

Jiraiya walked over to window and sat on the sill, facing away from the Hokage. He rubbed his forehead roughly with his hand. "No, of course not; I just want to talk with the boy and help him out whenever I'm around. I want to at least _attempt_ to fulfill my God-fatherly duties rather than deny the boy what he deserves."

Hiruzen kept his face neutral as he studied his student, considering what the decision could lead to. "If word got out about your relationship with the boy, before he's able to protect himself, then his life is in grave danger. Isn't that the reason why we gave him his mother's maiden name? To deflect his father's infamy away from him?"

The Sannin looked sharply at the older man. "Funny, that's what I told Teuchi. But damn it old man, the kid needs someone besides a ramen chef in his life. I can't take him away from the village for _obvious_ reasons, besides; he needs to make friends his own age and join pass the Academy. No, but if I give him a few pointers here and there, maybe take him out for some ramen, he won't be completely ostracized by this village and, hopefully, I'll be able to bring out his true potential, which you _know_ is there. Namikaze blood is too potent for him to be a complete dunce."

Sarutobi laughed heartily at this.. "So you looked into the school's records? I suppose it would help if Naruto actually went to his classes instead of skipping out to do pranks. Who knows, maybe you'll be a good influence on the lad."

"Me? A good influence? Damn, I _knew_ you were going senile!"

"Jiraiya…"

The sage took his former Sensei's warning seriously, grinning softly. "Well, I'll be see'n ya, you old coot!" With that parting, he bounded out the window and once again faded into elongating shadows of the village.

-x-

"Hey Naru-chan!"

Said blonde bristled at what he took in as an insult. He turned in mid-step to see an elderly-looking man wave at him from a little bit farther down the street. "What do you want you old bag of bones?"

The white-haired man just laughed boisterously as he caught up with the boy. "What? Don't like Naru-chan? How about Naru-tan (2)? I'll admit it's a bit hip for an oldster like me," the man laughed again as a growl from the seven year old interrupted him. "I'm joking, _geez_ kid you've got to loosen up. I mean, you're in the presence of nobility here. The almighty Gallant Jiraiya from the tales of old!"

"You mean the old pervert that the ladies down in the hot springs are always complaining about?" Naruto deadpanned.

"_Gaki_, you've just got to remember that I'm famous. Not only am I one of the Sannin, I'm also student of the Sandaime and mentor of the Yondaime. You're lucky that I'm even _talking_ to a child like you."

"Yeah, yeah Ero-jii. You keep flappin' your pruney lips but all _I_ hear is a pervert's flimsy excuses."

"Smart-ass Gaki."

"Perverted hermit."

"Annoying punk."

"Useless bag of bones."

"Shi—"

"Okay Ero-jii, I don't exactly have all day to tend to your senile whims. Get to the point." The blonde smirked at the incredulous expression on the older man's face—but immediately scowled as said man ruffled his hair while he had a hearty laugh.

"Okay boy, how about this? I help your useless ass graduate the Academy and see you into your Shinobi apprenticeship._ Then_ we'll see just how 'senile' I am."

Naruto looked at the man, his expression veiled. Cautiously, he reached out a hand, which Jiraiya enthusiastically shook. Almost immediately, as if some switch had been flipped, the blonde grinned and began to bounce on the heels of his feet.

"Okay Old Man! Train me already! I'm going to be so _awesome!_ BELIEVE IT!" Jiraiya winced and poked at his right ear with a finger.

"Calm down Naruto, we'll get to that. Geez, I think we'll need to start with some proper etiquette lessons." The blonde scrunched his eyebrows as he looked up at the Toad Sannin.

"Ehh?" The man just slapped his forehead.

"You really _don't_ attend the Academy that often, do you? Although, it's not like I can blame you." Jiraiya tugged on the boy's arm and led him up the street. "Okay Naru-Chan, we need to pay you a visit to the library.

-x-

"Remind me why I'm wasting time with you again," Naruto whispered a bit too loudly as he stared incredulously at the stack of books the Sannin had placed in front of him. After waving off the librarian who was just a _bit _annoyed with the loud seven year old, Jiraiya just poked the kid in the forehead.

"It's because I know things kid, and the Third speaks highly of you. Now do you want to be Hokage or not?"

"YES!"

"God _damn_ it kid. You're going to burst my ear drum if you keep that up. But, I digress, to get to the top—ya got to start at the bottom."

"And the bottom means books?"

"Yes. The bottom means books. If you had actually paid attention the few times you attend class, you'd be learning about the history of the elemental nations and such, right? Well, all that gives you knowledge which, with experience, leads to wisdom, which can make you a legend. I know a bunch of words on a page can seem boring kid, but if you actually take it seriously, you could enjoy this." Jiraiya's stern expression softened slightly at the look of determination on the blonde's face. "Who taught you to read, Naruto?"

"I taught myself."

Shock flickered briefly across the man's face. "See, that right _there_ shows potential. Words are a tricky business, especially without help, but you persevered and learned a basic skill. But what use is knowledge like that if you don't put it to use?"

The boy bit his lip as he looked between the man and the stack of books. "I guess that makes… sense. In a boring sort of way."

Jiraiya only laughed. "Of course."

-x-

"Uchiha, Sasuke?"

"Here."

Iruka nodded as he checked of the Uchiha's name from the list. It was just an average week day at the Academy and taking attendance was always at the top of the list. After listing a few others as accounted for, Iruka almost glossed over the name of Konoha's residential prankster. The only reason he said the name out loud was because, according to the teaching protocol, he was required to ask if every enlisted student was present.

"Uzumaki, Naruto."

One could imagine the surprise on the teacher's face when a firm "Here" resounded from the back of the class. Every student, even the passive Sasuke, turned to look at the whiskered blonde. The boy's cheeks reddened slightly after a few minutes of the classroom staring intently at him in amazement. Technically, it was the first time he had attended class in four months, two weeks, and four days.

"Umm, Sensei?"

Iruka shook himself out of his surprise-induced stupor and hurriedly continued with the rest of the list. For the rest of the day, the scarred Chuunin watched the Kyuubi holder intently, surprised by the differences he could see in the boy. First of all, while he was still animated, Naruto wasn't _half_ as unruly as he had ever been and, while he did play a small prank on one Inuzuka Kiba, the blonde didn't try to sabotage the class's lessons in any way. In fact, he actually _listened_ to Iruka and Mizuki's lessons. Granted, he looked a bit strained to not sleep as per his usual routine on the rare days that he attended class. At the end of the day, Iruka just passed it off as a strange occurrence and the Uzumaki boy wouldn't be there the next day.

But he was.

Weeks went by, and the blonde attended class: daily and attentively. The severe lack of rude interruptions and an honest attempt at _learning_ from Naruto had Iruka rattled at first, but slowly it became routine. Even the students were reacting to the boy differently. During the breaks, the blonde could be found conversing with Chouji and Shikamaru, although the Nara mostly just listened (_naturally)_, with also, the occasional interaction with Shino. Sakura and Ino hadn't even complained or reacted violently at the boy for _days_ because of the lack of (excessive) verbose rivalry between the Uzumaki and Uchiha.

Without his usual abrasive nature, Naruto actually seemed to fit in with the rest of the students for once, and strangely enough, Iruka was pleased by the fact.

Not that he'd admit it.

-x-

-Time Skip-

-x-

"Why so glum _Gaki_?"

Naruto jerked into awareness as he looked up from the swing on which he was situated towards the white haired man sitting on a high branch of the tree. "Jiraiya-jii? When did you get into the village?"

"Minutes ago," The Toad Sannin took a parcel out of his jacket and threw it at the boy. "Here. Sorry for missing your tenth birthday Naruto. I tried, but you know how life can be; pesky research for novels and such."

The blonde laughed as he opened the package to reveal a book entitled _Legend of the Gutsy Ninja_. "A book? By _you_? Wow, Ero-jii, I thought you promised the Old Man that you wouldn't corrupt my innocent mind until I was at _least_ twelve."

Jiraiya scowled at the halfhearted jesting. "That, my dear _Gaki,_ is my very first book and your namesake. I thought it'd be a good inspiration for your future as a Shinobi. And you should be fully aware that I am counting down the days dutifully until I can defile your mind with the wonder that is the female body."

At the mention of Shinobi, Naruto's upbeat demeanor changed savagely. His face fell into a frown and he scrunched up his forehead. "Ero-Sennin, I tried the Gennin exam today, ya know, 'cause I thought I was ready. And for the most part it was fine, but the stupid _Bunshin_ portion of the exam caused me to fail. It's _so _not fair! No matter what I do, nothing helps me make a simple clone! Even _Sasuke_ can make one! And he's a _prick!_"

"Okay, I know you're ahead of your other classmates but don't you think three years is a little bit too early to take the exam?" The blonde merely shook his head and the elder sighed. "Fine; let's go get something to eat, and after I promise to take you to a training area and I'll give some pointers on completing _Jutsu_."

-x-

After thirty minutes of Naruto attempting the simple _Bunshin_, but remaining unsuccessful despite the Sannin's constant shouts of advice, the Toad Sage decided to take a different turn in the training.

"You see, since your _Chakra_ reserves have always been so large to you, _your_ 'small' amount of _Chakra_ is vastly different than say, that bubblegum-haired girl in your class. That's the thing with _Chakra_ control, it's all about _perspective_. That's why Kunoichi generally have easier time performing E rank _Jutsu_ like _Bunshin_, their limit of _Chakra_ is easily known, so they learn to limit their output faster." Jiraiya rubbed his chin as his lips slowly turned down. "I'm going to teach you something, but if the Old Man gets wind of it he'll have my hide, so keep it secret, ya hear?"

Naruto nodded eagerly and the Toad Sage formed a _Tora_ hand sign. With a puff of smoke, a doppelganger appeared next to him.

"This is the _Kage_ _Bunshin_ technique. A B Rank forbidden _Jutsu_ due to its taxing _Chakra_ output. Now, they are more advanced versions of this _Jutsu,_ but I'll save that lesson for another day. Just form the Tiger sign with both hands and channel as much _Chakra_ as you usually do whilst attempting the _Bunshin_ when you release."

"Okay," Naruto murmured as he placed both hands into a cross. "_Kage Bushin no Jutsu_!" he shouted, but was disappointed to see six sickly looking _Bunshin_ on the ground next to him. A snort from Jiraiya caused him to focus and retry over and over again. Within an hour, he could successfully create eight healthy Shadow Clones.

"Damn, this is great Ero Sennin! They're even _solid_!" The ten year old panted while admiring his hard work. The Sannin looked proudly down at his godson and smiled.

"Well, _Gaki_, I'm sorry to say but I was only here for a short check up. I've got to go travel for another month or two, so I'll just leave you with this; I showed you this for a reason. Learn from the _Jutsu_. I'll see you around Naruto."

"Leaving already?" Jiraiya smiled softly at the pout that darkened the boy's face. He reached out to ruffle the boy's unruly blonde hair.

In a burst of wind, the blonde was left alone with a puzzled expression. "Learn _from _the Jutsu? He's ridiculous!"

-x-

When Jiraiya returned forty seven days later, he was pleasantly surprised by his Godson. Not only was he greeted by two Narutos standing side by side, but when he touched one of them, his hand passed right through the figure and the _Bunshin_ popped out of existence. With a proud smile adorning his face, the Sannin simply said, "Explain."

The remaining Naruto didn't disappoint. "When you said learn from the Jutsu, I realized that you didn't necessarily want me to master the Shadow Clone technique, so I did some research. So, while searching through the _dreary_ library, I found that Kage Bunshin are capable of passing on information from the clone to the user once dissipated. So I worked on that, but I figured that having an excessive amount of clones would only fry my brain once I destroyed all of them, so I kept focusing on a lesser amount of Chakra. Eventually, I was able to lower my Chakra output enough so that I could successfully create only a single doppelganger at will. But that seemed too easy for your standards, so I decided to keep furthering my ability to manage my Chakra output. It was only last week that I was able to actually create a simple Bunshin. It's still not a hundred percent perfect, but I succeed in the technique every three out of five times I try." When he finished his monologue, the blonde grinned brilliantly at his Godfather. "Did I get it right?"

Jiraiya put an arm around the short boy's shoulders and dragged him out of the training zone. "You get three large bowls of Ramen, my treat. Plus I'll teach you a bit more about utilizing the Kage Bunshin. But what's this I hear from Sarutobi about this sex change Jutsu and _why have you been holding out on your loving godfather Naru-chan_?"

Naruto growled and swatted away the hysterical Sannin's arm before sprinting away towards _Ichiraku's_. Jiraiya wasn't far behind.

-x-x-x-x-x-

* * *

_**1. kyaku-yarou:**__ very impolite way of talking about a customer someone strongly dislikes_

_**2. –Tan:**__ Slang Japanese suffix; similar to –Chan_

* * *

-x-

-tbc-

-x-

-w**ord** c**ount**: 5,341-

-x-

l**ast** e**dited**: 9/04/11

-x-


	2. I: Of Demons and Monsters

Chapter II: O f D e m o n s . . . M o n s t e r s . . .

-x-

_The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. _

_The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse._

-Helen Keller

-x-

"This week, the seventh years will be taking the Gennin Examination. While most of the staff will be dedicating their hours to the test, our class will be joined by the others for our lessons in order to account for the missing Sensei. During these next two weeks, we will be focusing on the origins of the major Noble clans of Konoha; specifically…"

Naruto felt the heated glare aimed at him when he raised his hand, but he honestly didn't care about that Bastard's ridiculous superiority complex. It wasn't the blonde's fault that the Uchiha couldn't yet perform all of the exam's requirements perfectly, and that it irked said academy student that the Uzumaki 'nobody' had been rumored to have almost succeeded in graduation during the previous year.

"Yes Uzumaki-kun?" Iruka asked curiously. While the blonde student's scores were steadily improving with each new class period, the boy never bothered to show formal gestures like a raised hand; he usually found that speaking aloud his thoughts held greater precedence than waiting to be called upon.

"I'd like to try my luck at the Gennin Exam Iruka-sensei." His teacher just sighed as he rubbed tiredly at his scarred nose. He _should_ have expected this from the boy. After all, his overtly large ego just wouldn't allow him to pass up such an opportunity. Again.

"Are you sure Naruto-kun? You also took the test last year but failed. Wouldn't it be best just to wait the one year you have left so that you'll be fully prepared?" If the boy was abashed at all of his failure being publicly pointed out, he didn't show it. Instead he just flashed a huge grin and ignored the snickers, most of which originated from Inuzuka Kiba's table.

"I'm positive Iruka-sensei."

And there really was no way that Iruka could say no to that annoyingly addictive confidence.

-x-

Uzumaki Naruto

6th Year

_Gennin Examination: Part 1_

_**Written Evaluation**_

**Your team of three is being pursued by enemy Shinobi while on your way of retrieving an important scroll to the Hokage from one of your village's informants. One of your teammates is wounded severely and he happens to be the team's Genjutsu specialist. The remaining team member and yourself are Heavy Combat specialists. You decide to take shelter in a cave, but have no way of sensing your enemy. What do you do?**

I use my knowledge _of Kage Bunshin no Jutsu_ to create multiple clones to act as scouts. They dispel themselves and transfer their experience to me if they encounter an enemy. My healthy teammate and I administer any medical help we can to our injured comrade after placing traps at the cave entrance. We wait until our teammate is stable enough for travel and then continue until within Fire Country's borders. If needed, we will engage in combat to protect our teammate and our important scroll.

**Your team has been given a C-rank mission to protect a client on his way back home in an allotted time frame and protect him from low level threats such as Bandits. Halfway towards the destination you are attacked by Chuunin level Shinobi and discover that there is as a B-class bounty on your client and that he had falsified his mission request. What do you do?**

I would tell my team to go for continuing with the mission but be more careful. Who knows what else might be lurking out there? If the means are possible, I would contact the Hokage and ask for a small group of immediate reinforcements while continuing forward as to keep within the allotted time of the task. Also, I would suggest using a less known route to final destination in order to prevent unnecessary confrontation.

-x-

Sen Jiga narrowed his eyes as the vibrant blonde entered the dark room. He, along with the other two Chuunin examiners held no prejudice towards this… eccentric vessel, but that didn't halt the certain distaste for his extremely overconfident behavior. They had already failed him the year before and they certainly weren't expecting any different this time around.

"Oi, Uzumaki-san, I'm sure you remember the routine. Please create a perfect Henge of any of the three examiners in front of you, while following with a _Kawarimi_ and three perfect Bunshin. You can also do any Jutsu of choice afterwards, if you so choose."

Naruto smirked as he lifted his hands to form the seals necessary for henge. _This,_ he decided,_ is going to be _awesome_._

Ten minutes later, Uzumaki Naruto left the Exam room with a shiny forehead protector wrapped loosely around his neck, his teeth shining in a brilliant smile.

-x-

-The Next Day-

-x-

Her first thought upon seeing the newbie was _orange_. Of course, her class had been told that there was an early graduate that would joining them for the Team Placement part of their Gennin experience, but she never thought the boy would look so… ostentatious. Perhaps it was because she was expecting another prodigy – like Neji. But that wasn't exactly fair either. Nonetheless, Tenten certainly did _not_ expect to see the infamous Village Prankster. However she also happened to like eccentric; so without a moment's hesitation after entering the room, the brunette immediately made her way towards the boy and took a seat.

"Hey Blondie. I'm Tonbo Tenten (1), pleased to meet you," she smiled warmly at the boy, holding out her hand to him. Surprise flickered across his face.

"Um, hi. I'm Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage of Konoha." The weapons mistress couldn't prevent her eyebrow from quirking up at his response. It was certainly a strange way to introduce one's self, but the way he had announced oozed fact—not merely overconfidence. She was intrigued, to say the least.

"Future Hokage, eh? You have some big dreams for barely a graduate."

"Not necessarily a dream. More of a retirement plan." At her confused glance, he elaborated. "From what I see, a Hokage doesn't get _nearly_ enough fun in his day to day life. Hell, the Sandaime practically _lives_ behind his desk; but my Godfather has told me a bunch of stories about his past missions and stuff. I think I'd rather enjoy life as a regular Shinobi before I get an _office _job." Tenten smirked softly at his depiction as a shudder rippled through his body. His lips quirked upwards into a smirk. "Enough about my future of fame, what's your goal?"

"I'm just looking to continue my specialization in weaponry. You know, create a name for myself as a great Kunoichi, like Tsunade of the Sannin." The blonde could only nod his head in acknowledgment as the graduating class's teacher, Matsuri-san, cleared his throat at the front of the classroom.

"Okay everyone, we have the teams sorted out into groups of three. As the Jounin Sensei come in, I'll call out their corresponding subordinates."

After three teams had already left the building, a brunette sporting a black bandana on his head walked into the classroom. He jerked the senbon in his mouth as a greeting to Matsuri before looking out over the classroom, his eyes resting briefly on the Uzumaki kid. A flash of recognition flashed through his dark eyes; the only change in his bored demeanor.

"Team Four, under the leadership of Shiranui Genma, will consist of Shigure Suien (2), Zuki Tetsu (3), and Uzumaki Naruto." A brilliant smile flashed across the blonde's face as he stood to follow the Jounin out of the room. When he got to the door frame, he turned and threw a quick wave to Tenten before disappearing from the room. Shortly after, a new face entered the room. The brunette shivered as she took in the black bowl cut, blindingly white smile, and ugly green spandex under a Jounin flak jacket. It vaguely reminded the girl of a different student from the same graduating class…

"Team Nine, under the instruction of Maito Gai, will consist of Hyuuga Neji, Rock Lee, and Tonbo Tenten." A shout of 'YOSH!' rang throughout the room as an enthusiastic Lee hurried out of the room, his long black hair trailing in a false wind as he sprinted after their equally fervent sensei. Tenten groaned loudly as she buried her face in her palms. Lee. She was teammates with Lee. What kind of luck did she have? Her self-pity party was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder. The brunette looked up to see her other teammate holding out his hand in order to help her out of her seat. She accepted the formal gesture and slowly made her way out of the building with only one thought on her mind—_this is going to be a _long _partnership._

-x-

Genma watched the three children in front of him twitch under his intense stare. He observed them to try to get an unbiased grasp of their personalities, rather than rely on the Academic profiles he had received previously in the week. The 'Gennin' sitting closest to him was the only female on the team, Shigure Suien (2). She sat slouched in a seemingly lazy position, her head in her left hand, allowing her fingers to tap rhythmlessly against her cheek, but the strained muscles in her tense shoulders gave away her nerves. Suien's other hand played meticulously with her messily braided scarlet hair while her grey eyes discreetly—or as tactful as an inexperienced child could achieve—watched her two other teammates. Her freckled nose subconsciously scrunched up, spiking Genma's curiosity. '_So she doesn't like something about her two teammates; that's definitely not a good thing to earn points towards them passing the test.' _His analysis complete, the senbon chewer switched his gaze to the boy sitting next to Suien, Zuki Tetsu (3).

The boy _extremely_ inefficient at hiding his emotions; everything about his rigid posture practically screamed unease. His restless hands kept flinching upwards, as if in a movement to grab at his short-cropped brown hair, before they fell back down to clench tightly around crossed arms, leaving whitened strain marks across his tanned skin. His brown eyes blanched after briefly meeting Genma's own and Tetsu instead focused his gaze on the grass near his feet. It really was to be expected from a fresh graduate, but it was rather annoying to have a child so scared by a simple situation. The Jounin repressed a sigh at the intimidated boy and turned to look at the last member of the team. Uzumaki Naruto.

The blonde definitely wasn't what Genma had expected to see from the Kyuubi vessel. The boy was lounging in the grass, seemingly not at all bothered by the obvious scrutiny. He ignored his other teammates, opting to instead watch the surrounding foliage. Bored. It wasn't what Genma had expected to see, especially not in comparison to his other teammate's reactions. B_ut he may just be used to be observed by others._ The bandana wearer shook away the thought as he decided to end the awkward silence that was descending upon the group.

"I'm just going to skip all of the formalities and get to the point, ya'll aren't Gennin yet." He ignored the startled '_WHAT?_' from the three and instead continued, "You still have one test left to pass. All ya have to do is draw my blood in combat within an hour. I'm _supposed_ to give you the night to prepare, but the way I see it, you can either do it or you can't. Time doesn't affect the outcome. So the test begins now."

Short, simple, and effective. The children immediately jumped up and took cover in the surrounding bushes of the training area. Genma just lazily remained sitting on the grass for a few minutes before slowly getting up into a standing position. _'At least they all know to at least _try _and gain the advantage of surprise_,' he thought idly, though their effort was moot. He could feel their unconcealed chakra signatures that acted as vivid beacons, revealing their location.

After a short wait of five minutes, the Uzumaki boy was the first to attack. Kunai were sent at Genma's head as three blondes came at the Jounin from different directions. He threw a punch at one of the clones and surprised when it connected with its stomach; the clone disappeared in a puff of smoke. _'Kage Bunshin?_' He quickly dispatched the other two clones and tilted his head as he pondered the student's caution. _'It seems the vessel isn't as rash and the report made it seem. He's probing me, not setting up an outright challenging. How _strange._'_

The next attack was no less surprising; Suien leapt out of the bushes towards Genma, arm outstretched and hand clenched tight around a kunai. As she sprang, Suien tried to slash at the Jounin's torso, but Genma just sidestepped out of the way, giving a fake yawn to taunt the girl as she rolled from the ground onto her feet. "Was that an actual attempt? How disappointing."

A small growl rumbled from the back of her throat. As she prepared to launch for another attack, the final student stepped between her and their sensei. "That's enough girlie. You had your chance, now it's my turn."

"You _basta_—"Suien scowled as Tetsu aimed a weak _Katon_ jutsu at Genma, cutting her off short. Genma's lips pulled down and he quirked his senbon to the side as he watched Suien give a slap to the back of the brunette's head. While the two bickered, he shifted his head infinitesimally as he heard the third of the group try to sneak up from behind. The Jounin easily dodged the obvious attack and caused the blonde to fall into the arguing two. As the heap of children dusted themselves off and immediately tried to attempt attacks of their own, he waited for the three to end their unsynchronized volleying.

Needless to say, thirty minutes later and Genma was still scratch free.

"The three of you have failed the test. Therefore you are invited to attend the academy for another year, during which you can attempt the graduation exam again. You're encouraged to take two months of a vacation before deciding whether or not this career path is correct for you." The Jounin looked at the dejected faces of the three children sitting at his feet and sighed heavily.

"This may be the end of our short time together, but I do want to leave you three with one bit of advice. The power to believe in yourself, and your teammates, _that_ will become the power to change your fate. Take from it what you will. I hope I'll be seeing you again next year." With that said, Shiranui Genma turned and walked away from the three failures towards the Hokage Tower, no doubt heading to deliver the news of Team Four's demise.

~x~

"What did we do wrong?" Suien mumbled to herself, pacing around the perimeter of the training area. The other two boys just watched her wearily, as if she were a crazed animal that would attack at any moment.

"We? What do you mean Suien-chan?" Tetsu asked softly, his lips pulled down into a deep frown as he pondered the previous few hours. Naruto, too, sent the girl a questioning look.

"It's Shigure_-san_ to the two of you! Don't be so formal!" She immediately seethed, stopping her movements. "Of course it's a '_we.'_ The test involved the three of us as one group—I don't know _why_ I didn't think of this sooner—so obviously we were _supposed_ to do _something!_" The redhead hands ran through her mussed hair, not even attempting to resurrect her now tattered braids. "I wasn't the second spot Kunoichi of our year for _nothing_—"

"Shigure-chan..."

"_San_!"

"Suien-chan!" Naruto ignored the feminine growl directed at him. "Could you please calm down? None of us are happy with the results of our test, but it's not like we can change anything."

"Oh, and you just want to lie down and accept that we failed? Both of you are bastards! First 'Iron for brains' over there completely ruined _my_ plan of attack and now 'Fishcakes' (4) just wants to lay back and watch the clouds go by. So I'm sorry if I'm a _little_ worked up over _my life's goal_ being taken away from me. And you two are _way_ too informal. We don't even know each other, so stop trying to get fresh!"

"This is exactly why I don't like working with girls… they're too high strung," Tetsu whispered under his breath to the blonde, his hand parallel to his mouth as he tried to hide the comment from the girl. The two boys once again stared at the raving redhead incredulously. Naruto tactlessly returned the gesture.

"She does have a point—I am pissed off about this too—but she's a little over the top, huh?"

"Maybe it's because of her hair?"

"_Will you stop that?_ I can _hear every word_ you are saying! Just because I have red hair does not mean I am an invalid!" Suien sat on the ground with a sigh, muttering under her breathe about "how untactful boys are." The two quickly went to her side and joined her on the dirt, all facing each other. The boys were surprised to see tears collecting in the redhead's stormy grey eyes.

"Shigure-Chan, please forgive us, but we don't understand what you're expecting from us! It's not as if we can go back in time and change the outcome!" Tetsu traced lines in the dirt, refusing to meet her harsh eyes. "All we can do is try again next year and—"

"And fail again?" Tetsu and Naruto both looked at the girl in surprise. They honestly never knew what to expect from that girl's mouth! "Look, I know that we can't change what happened, but shouldn't we figure out the facts first before we return to the academy with our tails between our legs? Honestly think about the challenge. Doesn't something seem off about it to you?"

A snort. "Other than the fact that we were expected to actually _harm_ a Jounin level Shinobi?"

Suien wiped the tears from her eyes hastily. "Now you're using your brain, Blondie! That's exactly my point! What chance would three not-even-Gennin, even if we had worked together, have at actually laying so much as a scratch on a Chuunin? Much less a Jounin! It doesn't make sense!" Brown eyes widened, a gasp leaving the brunette's lips, causing the other two to look at Tetsu. "What? Did I miss something?"

"But that's just it Shigure-Chan! Don't you think that the reason they put us in a _team_ was so that we would work as a _team_ to complete our goal?"

"Isn't that a little obvious?"

Suien smacked the back of Naruto's head softly. "Obviously not, since we _didn't_ work together. Honestly, how did we not think of that sooner? It would have been so simple…"

"Didn't you just say it would've been impossible even if we _had_ worked together?"

"Hush Tetsu. Don't ruin the good impression you've suddenly made on me."

"I don't understand girls at all…"

"I don't think anyone does."

"Do you two _want_ to be maimed?"

-x-

The Sandaime looked up from his paperwork when he heard two resounding knocks from the large oak door leading into his office. "Danzo-kun, please some in."

The crippled man didn't seem very pleased when he entered the room, quietly making his way towards the Hokage's desk, to which he seated himself across from with a grace unlikely to be seen from someone missing two limbs. "Sarutobi-san, why have I been summoned?" Sarutobi wasn't surprised at the bluntness of the question. For the decades that he had known the man, Danzo was always straight to the point.

"What if I had just wanted to see a familiar face? Are you so against meeting with an old friend such as myself?"

"Not when we both know my presence is best suited elsewhere."

The Hokage sighed as he took a folder from his desk and handed it to the other man. "This is the Rice Field Country's most recent border patrol report. It seems that there was some most _unusual_ activity concerning foreign Shinobi there in the past month." He watched carefully as the older man's lips turned down even further as he flipped slowly through the contents of the report.

"Are you sure that they were—"

"I assigned no ANBU operations near the Ta no Kuni territory. I could only assume that you were involved, otherwise we have multiple traitors on our hands."

"There may have been _rumors_ of particularly troublesome origin that could have warranted some scouting at the time."

"I can't protect them if they fall into trouble. I had to deny any knowledge—not that I had received any in the first place—of the activity and promised to look into the matter in order to keep the situation purely diplomatic. Border matters have been extremely fragile in many Countries recently, and we don't need to add any unnecessary dispute to our agenda."

"You've never required me to map out my intentions before."

"I've given you a long leash because I know you have no malicious intent with your organization, but believe me Danzo; I have _never_ just let you run your forces freely. If I need to add restrictions I won't hesitate to do so. You seem to forget what the true extent of your power in village matters are."

The crippled man grimaced as he handed the Hokage back his files. "I will have a reevaluation of my Shinobi's abilities and will ensure proper punishment is given for their mistake. Also, you should receive a report about their findings within the next day."

"Make another copy for Jiraiya to look over."

"Oh, is the sage currently in the village?"

"You already knew the second he arrived." Sarutobi ignored the sardonic grin on his friend. "He's attending to personal matters in the village before he leaves for a conference in Suna."

"If you would like to give him an escort—"

The Hokage immediately cut him off, a frown on his face. "We're trying to restore a rapport with the Sand Village. Your presence isn't necessary." Danzo became quiet as he studied the man before him.

"Then what of the Kyuubi vessel? How did he fare with Genma this afternoon?"

"Failed during the secondary exam. A sad turn of events, but both Jiraiya and I believe it's for the best."

"You do know that my offer still stands. If you let me train him with Ne, he'll flourish faster than he would with your average troops. No offense meant, but your program is slow moving and focuses on _ethics_ rather than _skill_."

Sarutobi wisely ignored the obvious provocation in his friend's tone. "You already know my answer, so let us please try and skip another arguement, my old friend. Even if I was open to the idea, you wouldn't be able to get around the boy's guardian. Jiraiya would never let you lay a hand on the child."

"A challenge is always a pleasure." Danzo smirked at the warning glint in the Hokage's dark eyes. "You needn't worry Sarutobi, I won't mess the Kyuubi vessel at the present. I… _trust_ that you'll start his career of decently."

"But once I'm dead, you'll pounce on the opportunity."

"It depends on your replacement's morals. I'm made an investment concerning the future of this village Hiruzen, and I'm not going to let Konohagakure fall, no matter the cost."

Sarutobi could only chuckle. "I don't plan on leaving this post anytime soon; I have too many loose ends to tie beforehand. Goodbye Danzo."

The older man bowed as he stood up, a small smile on his face. "I'll see you soon, Sandaime."

Sarutobi simply returned to the massive pile of paperwork residing on his desk. He was thankful that this meeting had been pleasant. While he truly adored his friend, he never knew if he could trust the man to keep his radical thoughts tame in the Hokage's presence.

-x-

Naruto wasn't sure if failing the test was a blessing-in-disguise or not. His former-teammates—if they could even be called that—were very different from what he had been expecting. Tetsu was very quixotic, which directly contradicted his large frame and near-constant stoic expression. Once he began talking, it really surprised the blonde at how idealistic and naive the boy was. But then again, that was _very _refreshing when compared to the ostentatious redhead of the trio.

Suien was an enigma; that was certain. She was hot-headed most of the times, with a fierce passion that could blind anyone, but then, as if a switch was flipped, she became a mellow, drastically intelligent girl. The end of every interaction with her left both Tetsu and Naruto with a major headache. The three had taken to meeting with each other every weekend for the two months they had before resuming lessons at the Academy. At first, all they did was train together in silence until the sun went down, but slowly a shaky friendship was formed between the three—shaky because of the girl's radical moods, in Naruto's opinion. Soon their sparing sessions shortened and they actually spent hours together just talking or relaxing.

When his godfather had asked him why he kept hanging around those two, despite their failure, the blonde had no answer. They made a strange trio—a firecracker, an optimist, and a prankster. Once their two month vacation ended, the two twelve-year-olds rarely were able to see Naruto, especially as their studies grew more intense in order to once again prepare for the graduation exam. Before Naruto had realized, eight months had passed and Iruka was once again announcing the Gennin exam. Only this time, it truly _was_ Naruto's turn. He was determined to graduate with the rest of his class, and this time, he _would_ become a Gennin. He only hoped that his two friends would be able to achieve their goals too.

-x-

Iruka smiled as the charismatic blonde in front of performed the final Jutsu portion of the exam. "Congratulations Uzumaki-kun, you've passed." The 'again' was left unsaid. "Now, for your forehead protector…" a chuckle escaped his lips as the boy pulled out his previously earned headband. "Ah, well Naruto, you're all set. Be sure to get your picture taken tomorrow and then report back here to find out the team assignments."

"Thanks Iruka-sensei!" The boy said with an unusual amount of exuberance—although, Iruka realized that nothing was quite unusual when taken into account with Naruto's strange nature—and he quickly took to the streets; he had something huge planned and only a few hours to pull it off before dusk had settled. He was vaguely aware of the increased activity of Leaf Shinobi amongst the rooftops, but he didn't give it any heed to the hastening shadows. To avoid any disturbances that could occur within the village, Naruto took to the side roads and decided to cut through the surrounding forest to make his travel time shorter. His plan was quickly ruined when instead of a peaceful journey, he was surprised by a Kunai being thrown at his head.

"What. The. _Hell—_Mizuki-sensei?" The boy's eyes widened as his academic teacher stepped out from behind the dense foliage, a rather large scroll strapped across his back. The malicious undertone to the Sensei's natural smirk didn't give the boy any comfort as the silver-haired man drew nearer, a Kunai clenched in his raised fist.

"Ah, Naruto-kun, you have very good reflexes." The smirk grew into a grin that stretched across his whole face as the teacher twirled the weapon in his right hand. "Now that you've passed _my_ cursory test, I've got a proposition for you; along with a nice little piece of information that I'm sure you'll be _dying_ to hear." The blonde's expression twisted into confusion but he chose not to answer. "I'm leaving the village, Naru-kun, and I want you to come with me."

"_WHAT?_" Naruto couldn't help the outburst. "Why would I want leave with a…a _traitor _like you?"

_A traitor?_ Naruto thought idly, his bright blue eyes tracing the other's movements closely. It was hard for him to grasp why someone would attack a fresh graduate, a fellow citizen nonetheless. Why would anyone forsake their village? It didn't make any sense to the blonde.

"But don't you see Naruto-kun? You've _already_ been betrayed by the village you hold so dear! That's where the information comes in. Seriously consider my offer as I tell you what _actually_ happened on the night of your birth." Naruto's instincts were screaming at him to run, to go get help, but his legs wouldn't budge. He was transfixed; he somehow _needed _to stay and hear what the man would say.

"Demons can't be killed Naru-kun, despite what the history books say. No, they escape the restrictions of death only to be faced with a different challenge not easily overcome. Because they're beings of chakra, they can only be sealed into a host container. When the Kyuubi attacked, in order for the sealing to be successful, the Yondaime Hokage had to choose a living vessel with undeveloped chakra passages. I'm sure you can see where this is going Naruto. After all, haven't you ever wondered why you seem to be so hated by all of the villagers?"

Naruto may have been many things, but dense he was not.

""I don't need a damn History lesson—"

"I wasn't simply humoring you."

He growled at his former teacher. "_If _I have a fucking demon sealed inside of me then why would you _want_ to take me with you?"

Mizuki only shrugged. "I screwed up. You noticed the increased security, right? Well, I wasn't as careful as I should have been and my employer won't take it very kindly to my misfortune. But, as the Kyuubi vessel, you're a valuable asset Naruto-kun. My boss would be most… pleased if you joined our cause." (6)

"What else do you know? Why would I have been chosen by the Yondaime?"

"I can't tell you anything else unless you come with me." Naruto's usual tanned face bled pale as he took in the utter seriousness of the traitor. The fucker actually _believed _the shit he was spilling, and that fact alone shook the usual confident boy more than anything. _If it's true… than the Old Man… he _knew_… and he didn't… _damn_._

The 'vessel' sneered. "As much as I appreciate the gesture Mizuki-_sensei_, I'd rather stay in this village than be used by you or whoever the hell you're working for."

"That's too bad Naru-kun. I'm sorry to say that I just can't let you leave now_. Pfft_, such a waste," the silver-haired man raised his right hand, but the kunai stopped in the middle of its final twirl as a shout of _Kage Mane no Jutsu_ echoed through the forest clearing. Mizuki's eyes widened as his body sat frozen, a shadow joined his on the forest floor. His plans were ruined again, only this time due to the shadow imitation technique. He really cursed his ill-luck.

Naruto's gaze shifted uneasily to the newcomer, a tall scarred man who had appeared behind the traitor. "The charges just keep piling up Mizuki. It's a shame that you had to ruin the young boy's evening too." Nara Shikaku drawled as he raised one hand to form a _rat_ hand sign. "_Kage Kubi Shibari no Jutsu_." Slowly, the shadows binding the traitor traveled up the man's body, closing around his throat. Mizuki was only able to give a weak cry of anguish as the technique started to cut off the man's air supply.

Shikaku's calculating eyes turned to examine the frozen Gennin. "Naruto-san, I think it would be a good idea for you to take off for the evening and relax while you can. I'm sure the Hokage will be summoning you once this situation has been sorted out." The blonde shook of his stupor. He nodded and quickly took off into the growing twilight.

-x-

-A few hours later-

-x-

"Ah, Inu-san, please remove your mask and take a seat. We won't be discussing ANBU matters this evening." A gentle smile spread on the old man's face as he watched the silver haired ANBU member sigh before he took off the porcelain mask.

"With all due respect Sandaime-sama, you've called me into this meeting annually for the past five years and the result has always been the same. Is it necessary to still go through the formalities?" asked the Shinobi as he took a Hidden Leaf forehead protector out of his pack and placed it diagonally across his face so that his left eye was covered.

"Kakashi, I believe that the team I have prepared for you this year will be of great interest to you," the Hokage smirked as he passed the ANBU a folder. The man's only remaining visible grey eye widened as he looked over the team's academic profile. He thought it prudent to read through the entire folder, forcing the elder to wait—when regarding Kakashi, nothing ever changed, regardless of the situation—a long forty-five minutes as the man thoughtfully digested the information.

"Wouldn't Tenzo-san be more aptly suited to teach this squad?" he asked as he roughly ran a hand through his spiky silver hair.

"I'm sure you've heard the whispers about Orochimaru during your travels, Kakashi. I'd rather not have any of his past experiments under the public eye; especially when the attacks are hitting so close to home."

The man nodded abstractly. "Is that why Anko's given up her play time as assassin to be more active over at T & I? Ibiki says she's been giving the staff quite a show, especially with that Mizuki fellow they just brought in."

"Morino-san gives you details of the Torture and Investigation unit?" The Sandaime asked, not caring to answer Kakashi's question. "I was under the impression that that specific information is confidential."

"Just about _everyone_ has heard about the idiot by now and besides, Ibiki didn't say many details other than that Anko was refining her skills with her summoned shadow snakes Jutsu with the thief. You know, to show the traitor what he had missed out on by getting caught." Kakashi sighed as he closed the folder in his hand and placed it under his arm, against his side. "But we're getting off the current topic. I'll take the brats for a test run and we'll see how they do. I won't waste any more of your time."

"You're very eager to leave this year Kakashi."

The mask covered the smirk that Sarutobi _knew_ was there. "I do have a test to prepare, after all. I shouldn't dawdle." The Jounin got up and walked out the door with a simple wave to his superior. "It's not like I could refuse your _suggestions_, right Hokage-sama?"

Hiruzen just smiled. "No, not even if you wanted to Kakashi-kun."

-x-

It didn't take the Sage long to find the brat. It was only logical that he'd be somewhere he shouldn't, celebrating in a way that generally wouldn't be appreciated. Even he had to admit, the Hokage Monument was a fantastic choice.

"Damn it brat, the old man's going to have my head for this when he realizes I was a witness and didn't stop you." Said brat looked up to see the white haired man gazing down the stone Yondaime's nose, where Naruto was standing by his chakra-infused feet. "I give you the tools necessary to be an amazing Shinobi and _this _is how you utilize them?" The boy only laughed at the man's obvious despair as he continued brushing red paint onto the rock monument.

"Can it, old man. _This_ is art. _This_ is worthy of the history books. After all, what better way to celebrate becoming a Gennin than by partying with all of my predecessors?" Naruto bit his lip in concentration as he moved over the rock surface, painting intricate swirls across the Fourth Hokage's face. "Besides," he gestured towards the Sandaime's stone representation, "I even paid some homage to my Godfather. He should feel honored."

Jiraiya couldn't help but fight a smirk from forming as he laid eyes on the almost perfect replica of his _Icha Icha Paradise: Volume 2_ novel painted onto the Sandaime's face, along with rosy red painted circles on the stone's cheeks. He briefly glanced at the first two Kage, who were painted rather ornately, before sliding his gaze to the Yondaime, whose face was taking on a strangely feminine look. When he returned his gaze to the boy, the pervert could only shake his head. "You still have another test to complete. What it just ends up being another repeat?"

Naruto snorted while continuing his ministrations. "I'm confident in my abilities. Besides, I've had everything planned out. I put in absolutely no effort in school this year, causing me to be dead last of this graduating class so, naturally, I'll be placed in the same team as the top of the class—who just so happens to be Uchiha Sasuke. Knowing the way he's _adored_ as the last Uchiha and also a potential flight risk to the village, I wouldn't be surprised if the Geezer and his cronies on the council want him to be taught by a fellow Sharingan user. It doesn't take too much logic to realize that the one Hatake prodigy will be our instructor, and besides, the secondary test will be easy."

"Is that why you didn't pass the first time?" The Toad Sage retorted as his godson put the finishing touches on his so-called masterpiece.

"My team was composed of complete assholes."

"Including you?"

"Of course."

"Ah, but don't you think you're a bit _over_confident? If you know who your potential instructor is, then you've obviously heard of his exploits." The blonde only shook his head as he climbed back atop the mountain to take a seat next to the Sannin.

"It actually didn't take that long for us to realize where we went wrong the first time around. Genma-san gave Suien, Tetsu, and I the same objective, but instead of playing to each of our strengths, we just exposed all of our weaknesses and tried to beat each other at completing the task. The lesson was to have the three of us watch each other's backs, right Pervert?"

"I heard about the Mizuki incident. It's lucky that you happened to come across him before he left the village's borders." Naruto took the pervert's sudden change of topic as a yes. He decided to indulge his godfather's gentle prodding.

"He might have actually sought me out before leaving, I'm not entirely sure of his motives, but told me some real interesting things." He knew that Jiraiya knew _exactly_ what the boy was talking about. "Tell me Pervy Sage, do you just hang out with me because I'm your last link to the Yondaime or is there something more to it?"

"What?" The mood immediately sobered.

"Really, at least the man had the decency to place a seal master as his son's godfather, which is admittedly the best reassurance if the Kyuubi ever gains any influence over me, right?" Jiraiya fixed a heated glare at the blonde sitting next to him, but the boy refused to meet his eyes, instead opting to watch the darkened village.

"Did Mizuki feed you this bullshit?"

"Are you denying that my own father sealed a demon into my stomach? It doesn't take too much thought to realize that there aren't very many reasons that would explain why the Yondaime sealed the fox into me; and that would also explain you being appointed as my godfather."

"I'm not denying that you are in fact the vessel of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, nor the facts that you're related to the Yondaime; but just _what_ are you thinking Naruto?" Naruto glanced up at the older man. "Do you actually believe I would have devoted five years of my life to helping you without actually _caring_ about you?"

The blonde snorted. "Devoted five years of your life to me? Is that what you call semi-annual visits at most? Don't get me wrong, I love you and your perverted ways, but eight out of every ten times I've needed you, you _haven't _been here."

"What do you think I've been doing during my travels? Just chasing all of the tail I can get my hands on? _No. _I've been working to keep _you_ safe from all of the outside forces working against you and your tenant."

"I don't need to be saved from outside forces Jiraiya; I think that my own village is doing a great enough job of destroying me. Don't you realize what it must be like from me? All of those glares, all of the whispered words, it all just emphasizes at how I've been ostracized by my own home. I thought that finding out the reason would actually help ease the pain, but now that I actually _know?_" Naruto laughed mirthlessly as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"God_damnit._ Mizuki didn't put the puzzle together for me Pervy Sage. He just left out the pieces. If it's anyone's fault that I figured it out, it's yours; you've been the one drilling it into my skull of how perceptiveness is vital to a ninja's life." The vessel rubbed at his eyes, trying to keep the remaining tears from escaping. His shoulders tensed when only slightly stiff arms wrapped around his small frame. Naruto leaned into the older man's awkward embrace, burying his face into Jiraiya's chest. The blonde knew that the hermit wasn't the type suited to comfort, but the fact that he even attempted made the boy's troubled mind ease. That night, for the first time in five years, Uzumaki Naruto allowed himself to wallow in his despair.

He cried tears of pain, anger, sorrow, and a variety of conflicting emotions that were plaguing his mind at the moment, but the one thing he wasn't expecting to shed tears for was that of love. His godfather was there for him; Naruto may have been mad as hell at him, but he was still there.

That was all that mattered.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

* * *

_**1. Tonbo Tenten:**__ So, I thought Tonbo meant one thing but I'm pretty sure it was a mistake of reseaching skills on my part. Oh well. I'll be searching for a more apt name in the meantime. (If you didn't know, Tenten doesn't have a Canon family name. I just rolled with it...)_

_**2. Shigure Suien: **__The name loosely means a mist caused by a winter rain._

_**3. Zuki Tetsu:**__ The name loosely means an iron counter for light._

_**4. **__These were just Suien's lame attempts at insulting Naruto and Tetsu through playing with their name's meanings._

_**5: Ta no Kuni:**__ Area where the Sound Village will eventually be known to exist…_

_**6. **__Spoilers for Anime: In the filler episodes before the start of Shippuuden, there's an arc about Mizuki that delves more into his character and motivations. I'm taking what was learned in that and twisted it a little to fit in more with this plot. I absolutely abhor stories that just make Mizuki out to be a demon-hating traitor. There's obviously more to him than that. (Creative liberty!)_

* * *

-x-

-tbc-

-x-

-w**ord** c**ount**: 7,614-

-x-

l**ast** e**dited**: 9/04/11

-x-

E**nd** N**otes**: _Let's try and keep them short & sweet~_

-End Scene: I feel Naruto needed this scene. He's had emotions building up for twelve long years, and with this large revelation it's a breaking point. Love it, hate it, I felt it was necessary.

-The OC's: So as I was wrapping up their part in the chapter, I totally felt like I could pull a "Genma drops from the tree and is leik 'you has passed and are team now!" moment and continue the fic from there. I love those two OC's (and I usually really don't) & I understand why people would hate if I made that decision. But they probably won't be gone forever. (but not major parts, don't worry) I don't see the point in making characters and just throwing them away.

-Danzo: He will be differing just a bit from canon. Not too much, I don't think, but yes. This is AU. ;)


	3. I: Of Second Chances

Chapter III: O f S e c o n d C h a n c e s

-x-

_Dreams are the eraser dust I blow off my page.__  
__They fade into the emptiness, another dark gray day.__  
__Dreams are only memories of the plans I had back then.__  
__Dreams are eraser dust and now I use a pen._

-x-

_A certain white-haired Godfather_ really_ deserves to be castrated sometime soon,_ fumed a rather irate blonde as he rushed his way over various Konoha rooftops in order to cut his travel time shorter. He knew that the intentions were in the right place, but when the damn Pervy Sage had turned off the twelve-year-old's alarm clock, the bastard hadn't had the forethought that just _maybe_ the action could_ possibly_ make the soon-to-be Gennin just a _little_ bit late to the Team Assignments that morning. A little meaning two hours, of course.

It goes without saying that the boy was _very_ surprised when he entered Iruka-sensei's classroom and found only two occupants at the desks.

"_Good morning_—Na-Naruto?" The usually charming, melodious tone had a certain sharp shrill to it as a pink-haired banshee flew onto the blonde, claws flying. "Do you_know_how_ late _you are_? IDIOT!"_

"Sakura! Calm down! Ow—just let me explain! OW! _Don't pull my hair_!"

Once Naruto had effectively disentangled himself from the seething pink-ette, he took a few minutes to rearrange his appearance, purposefully ignoring the amused gaze from the other darker haired boy currently situated by the room's only window. "God, Sakura… did you really have to fly off the handle like that? I _know _girls are crazy but…" Smartly, he decided to fall silent once he saw the warning in her emerald eyes; he had already learned _that_ particular lesson thanks to a certain Shigure Suien. "Okay, okay, I got it. Sorry I'm late, truly! Though, I'm guessing we're all on the same team?"

Haruno Sakura patted down her dark pink skirt, flattening the wrinkled lines caused by her assault on the blonde. "Yes _Naruto_, apparently we're Team Seven. Which you would have _known_ if you had been here this morning." Her glaring eyes narrowed. "But it seems our Sensei has decided to be even later than a certain Blonde is _on a very important day_. Honestly Naruto, how air-headed are you to oversleep on a day like this?"

"Oi! Why do you think I overslept? Maybe I was out training intensely since sunrise and I just lost track of time?"

"…You're still in your pajamas stupid." A blush rose on his tanned cheeks as he looked down, realizing he actually _was_ still in his ensemble of orange sweats and matching button-up top.

"Well, would you look at that?"

"Oh, I give up!" He just laughed at the girl's annoyed response to his flippant tone. Sighing resigned, Sakura crossed the classroom, seating herself at a desk near the raven-haired Uchiha Sasuke. "Sasuke-kun! Can't you try knocking some sense into him?"

"Hn."

"Oh _wow_ Sasuke, you're right! I've really learned the error of my ways thanks to the almighty Uchiha-sama! _Oh Sasuke-kun_! Thank you for opening my eyes to the light with you _oh_-so-inspiring grunt!" Even Sakura couldn't prevent a snort at the exaggerated display of flailing arms and mock tears – before realizing exactly what she had done. Eyes wide, she glanced at her crush before turning towards the blonde with a large frown marring her refined features.

"Naruto, don't tease Sasuke like that! He didn't do anything to you!" Naruto just rolled his eyes at the lame retort.

"Sakura-chan, I know you're like, in love with the brick, but _honestly._ What good is he besides a good laugh?" Because in all honestly, the Bastard's reaction was always so _very_ hilarious. Not that anyone else saw the true beauty of getting under the stoic boy's skin—besides Inuzuka Kiba, of course. It was disappointing to see that his comment actually hadn't warranted a reaction; Sasuke just turned back to the window, acting as pretentious as ever, and his admirer relaxed in her seat, sending the blonde a sharp look when he opened his mouth to provoke once again.

Aw, damn. The bastard had actually _won_ that round.

Heaving an exaggerated sigh, Naruto turned to examine the room. It was painfully unassuming: white walls, dark wooden floors with matching mahogany teacher's desk. The blonde wandered behind the usually off-limits piece of furniture—not that he had ever paid any attention to _that_ specific boundary. Iruka-sensei had been at the brunt of many ill-fortunate pranks focusing on that very desk.

At least it was familiar territory that gave the blonde more time to put his thought process into more vindictive outlooks. After all, he'd been a_ttacked_ because their errant Sensei had set off the pink-ette's temper (he didn't feel the need to cast any blame on himself for her annoyance. It was practically expected from the prankster by this point, after all.) Revenge always took away boredom, too. Double the retribution, triple the pleasure in the blonde's opinion.

A mischievous glint took to his cerulean eyes as he examined the scene in front of him before resting on a single, more subtle object; the black board's eraser that hadn't been clapped clean that morning. _Naughty, naughty Iruka-sensei. He really should've learned his lesson by now~!_ Naruto thought, a grin spreading across his cheeks. The simplicity of the plan that formed instantly in his mind was _perfect_. After all, who would expect something so _inconspicuous_ from the Village Prankster? With a single clap and sinister rubbing of his hands, the blonde set to work, blissfully unaware of the nervous glances cast by his two classmates.

"Naruto, what—oh for God's sake!" Sakura sputtered as she watched the orange clad boy walk up the wall, gluing his chakra-covered feet to the door frame as he carefully balanced the chalky eraser on top of the door's support structure. "Do you even _care_ about setting a good example for our new Sensei? Really, as if anyone would even fall for that, idiot!" The blonde just stuck out his tongue childishly as he returned his feet to the ground, crossing the room to seat himself on top of the girl's desk.

"Maa~h, I think you're just jealous of me. Poor Sakura-chan. Not everyone can be filled with as much awesomeness as myself!"

"Tch, Dobe."

"What did you say _B__astard_?"

"Oh, are you deaf now? That certainly explains a _few_ things."

"Well at least I can _see_ that you still haven't pulled that stick out of your ass. Seriously Uke-teme, you need to have that checked out. It _can't _be healthy!"

Sasuke's pale face contorted, frustration evident in his onyx eyes; which only made Naruto feel more successful. _Naruto vs. Sasuke; One–all ._ His mouth snapped open to give a retort—only to be interrupted by a door opening. Immediately, three pairs of eyes darted to the room's entrance

One set narrowed; onyx evaluating the figure in the door.

Another wide; emerald nervously darting from the doorway to the floor and back again.

The final completely relaxed; cerulean bright with anticipation as he saw the fated object drop from its unsteady resting place.

A single grey eye observed all of this within a few milliseconds, wisely choosing to wait in the hallway a moment longer as the air in front of him rippled with a chalky dust. His smile went unseen as he observed the myriad of reactions; intense disappointment from the room's blonde, relief in the only female, and an attempt at stoicism from the dark haired boy.

"Maa… how can I put this lightly? This team obviously needs a lot of work; you're all idiots." With that _highly_ informative statement, the man just turned and left the room, leaving behind three extremely confused twelve year olds.

-x-

Kakashi has nothing against the three sitting in front of him. No, not a single misplace feeling towards the three children _specifically_. But Hatake Kakashi had seen many teammates die on him already, and he didn't need this group of brats to be the replacement bunch to do so again.

The Jounin didn't exactly have a good track record with keeping his loved ones alive.

He had been the one, after all, to find his father's crumpled form in their home's Genkan (2), dried scarlet soaking deep into the soiled tatami mats. Of course, he had known of the Hatake disgrace: his father's well-intentioned decision to abandon his mission for the sake of his teammates lives. Even if it meant continuing the war, and abandonment by his very Village and his squad mates.

The eight year old Chuunin awoke that morning to find himself his last remaining family member, his mother having passed away long before his ability to remember even the faintest of details, and Hatake Kakashi was left with the burden of his father's suicide resting on his all too young shoulders. And yet then there had been Minato-sensei. And that idiot Obito. And Rin. The three that helped him throughout his years until the Jounin trials. _What an unappreciative bastard he had been..._. They were all gone now, picked off by the hands of fate and replaced with three new nuisances for him to acquaint with.

An Uchiha—the last remaining of the clan within the village, although with a personality that would curdle milk.

A citizen-born Kunoichi, who seemed promising in many areas of expertise-with the right guidance.

And here was Sensei's son staring him in the face. A boy that he had purposefully marginalized for twelve long years. What joy.

"So why don't you start off by introducing yourselves? Pinky?" Said girl, Haruno Sakura, jerked stiffly upright at the acknowledgment.

"Introduce ourselves Sensei? L-like how? Could you go first Sensei?" Kakashi tilted his head playfully in mock thought as the poor girl sweated. Oh _how fun_. He had forgotten how nervous Gennin-to-be's were at the beginning stages.

"Hmm. Hatake Kakashi. There are things I like and things I hate. My thoughts for the future… unimportant. Anything else I just don't feel like telling you." And then the dimly-veiled awkwardness broke as one of the boys—Uzumaki Naruto—snorted in disbelief.

"That told us absolutely _nothing_—"

"Naruto! Respect!" Sakura hissed under her breath, glancing at him in disbelief.

"Kiss ass."

"_What. Did. You. Say_?"

"Nice sash? You're looking as lovely as ever today Sakura-chan~"

"As lovely as banter is this time in the afternoon, I really have places to be. So if we could move this along…" Kakashi stared at the two. The girl, who didn't handle audacity well, and the boy, who couldn't handle a seething female. Not that he could _blame_ the blonde, per se. But regardless, good to note. His gaze flickered to the silent member of the trio, who seemed to be ignoring the whole situation.

"Um, I'm Haruno Sakura and I like… ah, flowers. I guess. And my dream is to," she paused, a bright blush staining her pale cheeks. "Um, well, _duh _and as for my hobbies, I like to ah," she glanced at Sasuke quickly and Naruto coughed into his hand to hold back a snicker. Sakura's eye's darkened. "I enjoy beating up insufferable blondes _who don't know their place_."

"Ouch Sakura-chan," Naruto whined as she threw a fist towards his head. "I can feel the love radiating like a thousand blistering suns. Oi, Kakashi-sensei! I'm Uzumaki Naruto! Number one most unpredictable village prankster who loves ramen, hates pretentious pricks, is gonna be the Hokage after the old man kicks the bucket... oh, and I train. Beat _that_ Sasuke."

The last boy sat forward. "Uchiha Sasuke. Training. Idiots. Clan revival and performing a specific task you have no need to know. Are we finished with this waste of time?"

Kakashi smiled mirthlessly beneath his mask. _Just as I thought…_ "I think the brick wins! Quick and straight to the point; I like him! But alas, there is one more thing on our agenda. You see, the three of you aren't yet Gennin. There's still one more task for you to perform, which will take place tomorrow." He cackled enthusiastically, procuring three slips of paper from his sleeves. "It's quite a lot of fun really—a dropout rate of sixty-six percent, even!"

"What?" Sakura gasped, her eyebrows scrunching in confusion. Even Sasuke's mask of indifference cracked briefly as he looked to their Sensei in a show of interest. "Then what was the purpose of the exam we just took if we're not already Gennin?"

"That exam only determines viable candidates for the Shinobi teams. The _actual_ test has yet to begin. Just read these, they contain all the information you need. Just one last bit of advice before I leave you—don't eat any breakfast if you can help it. I wouldn't want the three of you heaving it back up. You know, it really is a hassle cleaning the practice fields afterward. Later!"

Kakashi seemingly disappeared in a puff of smoke, but in actuality disguised himself to watch the trio depart on their own. Uchiha Sasuke was the first to trudge off, giving a dull grunt to the other two before making his way on his own, the girl staggering a few steps behind him in question before breaking off with the blonde amiably.

_God_, it was just so similar. Yet in all the important ways, it wasn't.

So no, Kakashi had nothing against these three of the possible future Team Seven. But the heavens must have something against him. _This team will have a lot of work to do..._

-x-

Naruto's eyebrow twitched dangerously in annoyance. "You good for nothing _lecher_… do you know how much time I just wasted looking for you thinking that just this once you'd be using your time, I don't know, maybe doing something _worthwhile_?" The responding giggles did nothing but further prove his point. "You damned old pervert! I've got an exam to train for and you've got to help meee—"

Jiraiya snorted as he looked down from his peeping spot amongst the tree branches. "Pipe it brat. You know the drill; More Watchy, Less Talky." He gave the blonde a bawdy wink before returning his heavy leer to the scene below his perch—three scantily clad woman oblivious to the perverted old man privy to their bathing session overhead.

"Perrrverrrt~"

"Look Brat. If you think that tiring yourself out the night before a session with Kakashi will put yourself in a better shape to face the Jounin, then that's fine by me. But you don't need _my_ help to do that. If you want my honest opinion—"

"Which I don't."

"And yet you opened the can so you get all the worms. As I was _saying_, this old man thinks you should kick back, relax, rest those overtaxed shoulders for the night, and enjoy the finer details of the otherworldly wonders that is the female body."

The blonde just rolled his eyes. "And you wonder why you end up a frequent patient at the hospital."

"No, I wonder why I haven't beaten some manners into you. Ever heard of respectin' your elders Blondie? Might come in a bit handy in your future."

Naruto glared at his godfather hotly. "Will you just come down from there already you lecher? Aren't there laws against this or something?"

The white-haired man smirked as he descended from his post, deciding to grant the boy's wish. "Right. Since when have you and laws gotten along? Don't give me that look Brat, I'm just saying. You tend to shit on rules, and they give you the same courtesy."

"And as my guardian you're doing a _hell_ of a job setting an example."

"Damn straight."

"Perrrrverrrrt~"

Jiraiya slugged an arm around the blonde's shoulders, leaning in heavily to whisper into his ear. "Stop _pouting_ Hokage-to-be. I thought you're practically a Gennin now? Geez, you'd think you'd learn some maturity now but _nooooo_ it's '_Pervy Sage_ this~' or '_Pervy Sage_ that~' If I put some sustenance in that bottomless pit you call of stomach will you shut your trap and call us even?"

"….yes?"

"Predictable brat. I like the new look by the way—pajama pants really fit the whole 'just rolled out of bed' hairstyle."

"God _damn_it! I _knew_ I was forgetting something!"

-x-

Six hours. Six _fucking _hours.

Naruto clutched at his grumbling stomach in annoyance as he let out a petulant moan. "Is _this_ our test? 'Cause this. Is. TORTURE! That _bastard_ might actually be worse than _you_ Bastard—I can't BELIEVE he told us not to EAT. I'm _starving to DEATH OVER HERE!"_

_"NARUTO._ If you don't shut your mouth this instant you won't live long enough to _know_ what starving to death _feels_ like."

"Sorry Sakura-chan~!"

"Tch."

Naruto stopped doodling stick figures on the ground long enough to level the other boy with a look. "Aw stuff it Sasuke. Your stomach's louder than Ino on a bad hair day so stop acting all high an' mighty." His own stomach decided then was a good time to make itself known, causing Sasuke to smirk. Naruto didn't have the energy to growl at him, instead focusing on his own pain. "God~! I _knew_ I should've eaten some ramen this morning. Screw rules. Since when have I ever listened to teachers anyways?"

The pink-haired girl glared at the blonde from her seat in the dirt. "Na. Ru. To."

He glared back. "Sa. Kur. Ahhhh~ I'm dying over _and you don't care_. If I was your precious Sasuke-kun you'd be digging up tree roots or something, trying to keep me from getting too famished!"

"Oh please, that's an exaggeration," Sakura laughed, a quick glance being spared to their raven-haired teammate - who was decidedly ignoring them. No surprise there. "Tree roots wouldn't taste any good—I'd gather some berries or edible foliage idiot. Survival 101."

"NO! I was looking for reassurances not a confirmation! How can I continue knowing that the world is against me~ Woe is the whiskered blonde."

The pink-ette bopped him on the head with a small blush. "Cut the theatrics, okay? It's _annoying_." He graciously granted her request. He was hungry _goddamn_ it and didn't have the spare energy to waste! And the trio slipped into a silence once again, but it wasn't long before their quiet rapport was interrupted by the appearance of their errant Sensei.

"_YOU'RE LATE!" _Sakura and Naruto harmonized. Sasuke just gave the silver-haired Jounin a heavy glare.

Kakashi's single visible eye upturned in what seemed to indicate a smile. "Ah, about that; I happened to cross the path of a black cat so I took a different route today. "

"What type of _shit_ are you trying to pull—"

"_Naruto_!"

The blonde grinned cheekily and rubbed the back of his neck meekly. Kakashi pulled a timer from his bag and set it on a stump. "Shall we begin? Today's goal is simple—the timer will be set to go off at twelve noon. By that time, the three of you will have tried to get these bells away from me," the Jounin lifted two silver bells tied to red string into the air and jingled them a few times in demonstration. "If you can't—you won't have lunch."

"_What!" _Naruto gasped, scandalized. Sasuke rolled his eyes while Sakura bumped his head lightly.

"Focus, idiot."

"I am bastard – on this travesty of a situation. No lunch? Have you ever heard of such a punishment?"

"Already planning on losing?"

"_Boys_." Sakura hit both on the head (Sasuke barely a tap, of course.) to get them to focus once again on their waiting Sensei. "Wait Sensei, is that why you told us not to eat breakfast—so that we'd be hungry for lunch?"

Kakashi nodded. "Whoever fails will be tied to a wooden post and made to watch me eat my lunch." His eye upturned gleefully once again. Naruto couldn't hold in a shudder. _How does someone do that with only one eye? _His attention turned to the objects Kakashi was holding in his hand. The already bright sunlight was already reflecting off of the two silver bells making them even more of a target... wait. Two?

"Sensei, why are there only two bells?" The blonde stared at the bells uncomprehendingly.

"Since one person will have to be tied to the log, that person will have to fail the mission. He—or she—will be going back to the academy. It can be one or all three of you for that matter; it makes no difference to me. To this point, I'll let you know that I've never passed a Gennin team."

"WHAT!"

"Sensei, that's not fair, we all passed the exam—"

Kakashi just shook his head. "As amusing as arguing semantics would be, your time is already ticking away. Choose to waste it however you see fit, just know that the three of you will have to come at me with the sole intent to kill if will have any chance at snatching a bell."

Naruto smirked. Provocation he could handle, this business with passing two members, not so much. _There's got to be something I'm missing…_ Idly he fingered a shuriken in his front pouch; half listening to the Jounin explain the rest of the rules. Not like they actually _mattered_.

"So if we're ready to begin—"Naruto pounced.

Or more accurately, his clone did. Kakashi's hold on the clone didn't slacken as he felt the sharp impression of a blade at the base of his spine. "Shadow clone? I am impressed, but sadly I didn't say start. Feel free to begin now." The blonde's blade slid through smoke as the Jounin's own _bunshin_ disappeared.

"Aw shit."

Sasuke and Sakura had disappeared into the surrounding foliage upon the start of the exercise, leaving Naruto in the clearing by himself with their Jounin.

"You're not the brightest one, aren't you? When facing a stronger enemy, gaining an advantage should be your main focus."

"And in all honesty, I've already fought a Jounin before. Hiding in a bunch of bushes isn't gaining an advantage—it's just prolonging the inevitable. So come of Kakashi-s_ensei_, let's do this!"

Kakashi just hum'ed softly in contemplation. Of course he remembered Genma's account of his failed Gennin team the previous year—innovative blonde pariah and all. The Jounin smirked as he reached for his pouch, watching the blonde tense in anticipation. "While we do, would you mind if we caught up on my reading?"

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks. _No. No__o_oo. He could have recognized one of those orange covers _anywhere_. The clandestine woman being fawned over by nosebleeding men… the vibrant green and red _Icha Icha Paradise_ advertising what did NOT need to be advertised.

"NO! You're not—you can't, don't tell me people actually _read_ the Old Pervert's books!"

"You mean this literary masterpiece?"

"DON'T PLAY OBLIVIOUS!"

"I wasn't playing anything; I was just going to read."

"Ah, just shut it. Perverts are all alike—come on! Let's fight!"

Naruto rushed forward, sending three kunai at his teacher's book. Kakashi, his nose buried both figuratively and literally into the text of his perverted sin, easily dodged the projectiles and punches aimed at his face. The blonde Gennin-to-be grimaced at the lewd giggles coming from the Jounin. He just knew his Godfather would be proud.

Were all men _really_ like that? The thought made him give an extra hard slash with the kunai at the offending 'novel.'

"Are you… trying to murder my _porn_?"

"Yes."

"_1000 Years of Pain_!"

Oh. Fucking. Hell.

Today was just not a good day for the blonde.

-x-

After Naruto, his ass dragged from the river it had landed in, was somewhat dried, he decided to enact at least _some_ sort of plan. He had, after all, been through something like this once. And thus, he tracked down the lesser of two evils first.

Naruto tapped on Sakura's shoulder casually, causing the focused girl to jump.

"Naruto…? What are you _doing_? Get the hell away from me before Kakashi-sensei catches us both!"

"Aw," the blonde pouted. "That's so hurtful. Why must we always degrade to insults Sakura-chan?"

"_Naruto_!"

"M'kay. _Okay!_" He held up his hands in surrender. "I need your help," he admitted sagely. "As much as it pains me to say this, we need to pass the exam and we have to do it _together_."

"Together?"

"So skeptical." A frown.

"I'm serious Naruto; you'd better not be wasting my time! Why come to me for my help then? I'm flattered and all—don't get me wrong—but Sasuke-kun is obviously the better choice. He's always been better suited for this life style. I would've thought you'd gone to him instead of me…"

Naruto smiled as he poked the pinkette's head lightly. "Ah, I thought you had brain in that big forehead of yours Sakura-chan?" The blonde had enough sense to duck out of the incoming fist's way, a laugh bubbling from his throat. "Kidding~! Well, that's part of the reason it's a three person test Sakura. Come on, we can't stay here much longer. The pervert'll get suspicious. I'll explain on our way to pick up the bastard."

~x~

Finding Sasuke, as it turned out, was a lot easier than the blonde had foresaw.

"SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura shrieked, her shrill voice reverberating throughout the clearing they'd landed in along with Naruto's own peals of laughter. Sasuke, it seemed, had met his own form of defeat against the silver-haired Jounin and was incapacitated from the neck down in the ground—his scowling face the only visible feature.

"Oh _god_, this. Is. Just. _GREAT_!" He gasped, sucking in large quantities of breath. "I really just fucking _love_ our Sensei, ya know? He's a perverted asshole, but it's just totally _worth _it."

Face, meet Sakura's not-so-lovely fist.

"Just shut _up_ and let's _help_ him Naruto!"

"OW. Damn it woman! Don't you see this actually works better for us? Now the Bastard actually has to listen to our plan." He rubbed his bruising face, crouching down next to the raven-haired teen. "Okay Uchiha-bastard, we have about an hour till lunch and a perverted Sensei with some bells to catch. Sakura has a plan that can actually _work_ if you and I work _together_. Understand?"

"Hn."

"Translation?"

"Hn: a grunt of begrudged acknowledgment."

"Thanks Sakura-chan~"

"Cork it Blondie. We still need to figure out how exactly we're getting Sasuke-kun out of the ground—"

Sasuke scowled at the two of them. "There is no need—"

"Aw stuff it teme. My ass hurts, you're head deep in the ground, and we're almost out of time—I think it's about time we all swallow our pride and just _work together_. What can it hurt?" Sasuke glared at Naruto from under his bangs but said nothing, finally giving in with a sigh.

"Tch."

"That'a bastard! Okay, so let's do so _Kawarimi no Jutsu_ and get the prick out so we can pass this test! Dattebayo!"

After a shared glance with Sasuke, Sakura felt it was prudent that Naruto's face be reacquainted with the ground. It was a rather _harsh_ reunion.

-x-

As the sea of orange clad _Kage Bunshin_ swarmed one Hatake Kakashi, the Jounin couldn't help but wonder what the boy's Godfather could have possibly done to ruin such a delightful treasure as he swiped his _Icha Icha_ from another clones' violent reach. It was, while not _difficult_ to protect the book from his vengeful student, surprisingly stimulating since the child's clones' form was simply atrocious. They bombarded him like a pack of Inuzuka dogs' intent on the last biscuit but failed to draw the Jounin's attention from the sudden Chakra spike to his left.

He grappled a clone over his shoulder, ducking beneath the heavy fire stream of a _Katon Goukakyuu no Jutsu_ as the _Kage Bunshin _took the brunt of Sasuke's sneak attack. _So they're actually working together…_ The tag team didn't let up as the clones and the original Naruto aimed carefully placed punches and kicks at the Jounin's knees while Sasuke played rear guard—sending kunai tearing at the Jounin's elbows and wrist guard. Kakashi felt a small murmur at his side—the faintest whisper of fingertips brushing at the bells tied to his pack and he couldn't help but smile as the third team member made her appearance. _…Such brats_.

An alarm shrilled throughout the clearing.

"You've. Got. To. Be. KIDDING. ME!" Naruto sputtered as the blonde's shadow clones popped out of existence, his face turning incredulously to the high sun directly overhead. "After _all_ of that…? I even… we were about to… three more seconds! SAKURA-_CHAAAAN_~ you faiiiiled!"

"Don't blame me for this Naruto! You and Sasuke took too long to get the plan into action! I could have grabbed them if you had given me just a little bit more time, stupid!"

"You're both idiots."

"Eloquent as usual, Sasuke-teme. I don't see what _you _did besides throw pretty fireworks around and Sakura! I was the one getting my ass handed to me by a _Jounin_ so sorry that it took just a little longer than expected. Hell, I wish I had your part—waiting in the shadows to grab some bells from the pervert's the better end of the stick if you ask me!"

"You should have spoken up sooner then! Sasuke-kun could've handled the combat part if it was too much—"

"No, he couldn't. You know my clones are better suited—"

"_Then stop complaining_!"

Kakashi rubbed his head in exasperation while listening to the three—or rather, two of his students complain. (Sasuke tended to stand to the side, dropping in his occasional grunt whenever a lull in the argument warranted it.) He wasn't sure if he should just put the three out of their misery and tell them that they actually passed; they had achieved the goal of his test after all, despite the fact that they hadn't acquired the bells. Not that he had ever thought they would anyways.

To reclaim what was left of his sanity, he intervened. "Alright you two—enough of this bickering. Congratulations Team Seven, you three pass."

"What?" Sakura looked at her Sensei with wide eyes. "R-really?"

"Maa, don't act so surprised. The three of you achieved something that very few Gennin teams have been able to; you've worked as a team. You looked 'underneath the underneath' before deducing that something wasn't right with the scenario put before you and then manipulated it into something that you could work with. I'm not saying that you three won't be a hassle to train, but you're significantly better off than any other that I've had to test before."

"Thanks Sensei!"

"Yeah! You know, for a pervert, you're not half-bad~"

"NARUTO."

"PUT YOUR FIST AWAY WOMAN!"

Suddenly, Kakashi remembered there was a _reason_ he hadn't taken on a Gennin team before this bunch. At least the Sasuke wasn't half bad.

"Tch. Idiot."

Previous thought retracted. This team needed a serious lesson on team ethics. And fast.

-x-x-x-x-x-

* * *

**Genkan:** _Meaning entranceway or front room in Japanese. An extremely important area of a home in Japan for it sets the mood of the rest of the house._

* * *

-x-

-tbc-

-x-

-w**ord** c**ount**: 5459-

-x-

l**ast** e**dited**: 9/04/11

-x-

**AN**: So, rereading this, I got the vague TeniPuri impressions in here... so fail. So fail. I'm totally not obsessed with that fandom. Nope... not all .

E**nd** N**otes**:

-Curses! : Sometimes I feel this story has too much expletives, but I feel this also needs a maturing process. I have a plan. Hopefully it'll work.

-So I enjoyed this chapter a lot. Sakura is a lot of fun to write, considering I really didn't appreciate her character until much later in the series. I hope you take as much out of it as I do – the relationships between the three will differ from Canon. Drastically.


End file.
